Holiday at Grimmauld
by Alice Bekett
Summary: After Dumbledore gets the idea to get all key members of the Order together,most people do not remember that Snape is part of this group.Severus has many secrets that many are not aware of,and with Voldemort becoming more and more unstable,Severus may not be able to keep his position safe.
1. Planning

Author's note: Please read, it's important. This story is going to be a little odd for a holiday fic. I've looked at some of them on the sight and found most of them to be pairing fics. This is not a pairing fic, in fact, I doubt there will be many pairings hinted at at all in this story. This will be Snape centric, and will introduce the idea he may not be entirely human. If you do not like, don't read. This will be as close to the cannon as possible. Please R&R, and let me know what you think.

I am posting this now in honour of Snape's birthday. Please R&R and no flames.  
_

"All of the inner members of the Order will be staying here for the Christmas holidays," Albus Dumbledore announced.

Severus Snape froze, and glared at the Headmaster of Hogwarts. He kept his face in a controlled expression when the room exploded in a flurry of protests and arguing. Severus sighed, but didn't say anything.

Albus watched as everyone tried to speak all at once. He raised his hand for silence, and immediately everyone silenced and looked at him expectantly, "There is no reason we cannot talk about this like adults. Now why can't people do this?"

"Albus, what about Dolores? We cannot leave her at Hogwarts all alone," Minerva McGonagall, the deputy headmistress of Hogwarts, spoke up.

Severus nodded, "Yes, we cannot leave her there."

"I'm sure Pomona and Filius can take care of things for the holidays," Dumbledore peered at the two staff members over his half moon spectacles.

"Albus, she does not trust us now, if we disappear for the holidays, she may-" Severus started.

"Severus," Dumbledore's tone allowed no argument, "Hogwarts will be fine."

Severus scowled, but said nothing, "Now, are there any more objections?" Dumbledore continued.

"What about our families?" Minerva asked, "All of the order members have family they would like to spend time with-"

"Minerva, you know not everyone here has family."

"Most of us do, Albus."

"This is important, it will help us build relationships with each other that may help with the war effort. Now, everyone here will come, unless I am mistaken, there are enough rooms for everyone."

"There is, the children will have to bunk together, and it will be a little crowded, but it should work," Sirius Black spoke up, "I don't like this, but I have to admit, this will be nice."

Severus sighed. _Clearly, everyone has forgotten that this includes me._

"Severus, is there any potions that you need to brew?" Albus asked cheerfully.

"Yes."

"Bring the ingredients you need, then. I believe we can set something up here."

Sirius groaned, "Why does he have to bring all of his potions stuff here?"

"I need to replenish the infirmary's stock of potions, as well as my own. I also may need to brew something for the Dark Lord, and whatever the Headmaster wishes me to brew for the Order."

"Why can't you do this during the school year?"

"Because, Black, contrary to popular belief I _do_ sleep," Severus glared, "If it were possible for me to do everything during the year, I would."

Sirius snorted, but said nothing.

"Now, if this is all settled, I wish you goodnight, and I shall see you all on Friday night."

Severus left as soon as he was able, but instead of apparating, stood outside in the cool, snowy air. Digging into his pockets, he pulled out his muggle cigarettes and lit one with his wand, Inhaling deeply, he looked around at the falling snow and quiet and wished he could stand out there in the dark and quiet, but shook his head, finished his cigarette and apparated back to Hogwarts.

He made his way down into his dungeons, and entered his rooms. Unsurprisingly, Dumbledore was there, "Is there anything you need Headmaster?" Severus asked, slipping off his cloak and hanging it near the empty fireplace.

"Yes, my boy. The Wizengamot has decided that the holiday will be extended for a week," Dumbledore's eyes were sparkling much more than usual.

"Why, may I ask?"

"Officially, the plumbing of Hogwarts needs redoing, and we're giving the workers an extra week to get most of it done."

"Unofficially?" Severus asked carefully.

"The Wizengamot has decided dark times are coming, but are afraid to give up their positions. They want families to spend a little more time with each other this year. I will send out a notice tomorrow."

"Of course, Headmaster," Severus paused, "Thank you for letting me know ahead of time."

Dumbledore smiled, "I know better than to surprise you, my boy. Especially now."

"It is appreciated, nonetheless."

"I know. Good night, Severus. Try not to stay up too late," With that, the headmaster left, sweeping the door shut behind him.

Severus sighed, _at least this holiday isn't going to be a boring one. _


	2. Arriving and Feasts

The rest of the week flew by to Severus. Umbridge was becoming an unstoppable force, but had quieted down a little in since the announcement of the extended holiday. Both students and staff were excited, with a few exceptions.

Severus himself was not overly happy, but then, he was rarely content. Minerva seemed a little nervous. Leaving Hogwarts in the care of Umbridge had not been her plan and it did not sit well with her. She had every faith in Pomona Sprout and Filius Flitwick that they could handle the remaining students, but was worried about what Umbridge could try to do in Minerva's absence.

Severus was already packed by the time he had to leave, but he looked at his bedroom, scanning for anything he might need. He mentally checked off everything he needed, and checked his suitcase again. Sighing, he decided there was no putting it off any longer. Pulling out a rock from his pocket, he whispered; "_Portus"_ and felt the uncomfortable tug at his navel.

He landed in front of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, and looked around. It had stopped snowing, and muggles had left their mark in the unbroken snow Severus remembered Sunday night. He shook his head, and knocked quietly on the door, remembering Molly scolding other Order members for using the doorbell. Severus smirked, if someone asked him, he would get rid of the infernal painting.

A harried looking Molly Weasley answered the door, "Ah, Severus. Come in. Do you know when anyone else is coming?"

Severus raised an eyebrow, "No."

Molly nodded, "I'll show you to your room. Be careful on the stairs."

Severus followed Molly up three flights of stairs and into what seemed to be the attic. He looked around, empty bookshelves adorned the walls, and a cauldron stood in one corner. Severus nodded, "Thank you," the words tasted odd on his tongue, but he forced himself to say them.

Molly smiled, "Not a problem. Let me know if you need anything else," with that, she left.

Severus sighed, and took his shrunken suitcase out of his pocket. Placing it on his bed, he waved his hand and the suitcase returned to it's normal size. He pulled his wand out of his pocket, and waved it over the suitcase. It opened and vials, jars and some metals flew out of it and they flew over to an empty shelf near the cauldron.

After unpacking his potions ingredients, Severus sat on his bed unsure of what to do next. He could smell Molly's cooking already. After a moment, Severus decided to set up his wards. They allowed him to rest without hearing what happened in every other room in the house, and also prevented anyone from hearing when he had a nightmare.

Severus set out the potions he was taking, and counted how many he had of each. After, he wrote a list and set it on the table beside the cauldron, so he would be reminded of what he needed to brew. Severus opened his door to go downstairs, and cursed his heightened hearing. He sighed, reinforced his occlumency shields.

He looked around the kitchen and saw that Molly had cooked a veritable feast. He tried to find a dark corner of the table to sit at, but was ushered into a seat by Molly, directly in front of Black. Cursing his luck, Severus sat, trying to block out the noise that was starting to give him a headache.

"What's wrong, Snivellus? Can't stand the light?" Black taunted.

Severus smirked, _He would piss himself if he knew how accurate he was, _"No, Black, I'm ignoring a mangy mutt."

A vein in Black's neck pulsed, and Severus heard Black's heart quicken in anger. Severus almost drooled at the thought of the warm blood, but stopped himself before he could loose himself in the blood lust.

"Ah, Severus. You're here already, I almost thought I would have to drag you here myself."

Severus was pulled out of his reverie by the cheery voice of Dumbledore. He watched as the old wizard sat beside him. Severus was grateful of the distraction, and focused on the slow, steady heartbeat of his mentor.

When he calmed himself, he saw Dumbledore smiling at him over his half moon spectacles in understanding, "You know I would not force you to be here if I thought this wasn't necessary, Severus," Dumbledore said pleasantly.

Severus glared at the older wizard, but said nothing, "How are you feeling, Severus?"

Severus raised an eyebrow, "Like I always do, Headmaster."

Dumbledore nodded, knowing that meant Severus didn't feel very well, "Well, my boy. How has your brewing been going?"

"I was going to start later tonight," Severus fully intended to try to fight his instincts, and sleep at night, but he wanted the first day to get sleep he desperately needed.

Dumbledore smiled, and started talking to Black. Severus glance around the room, and almost growled at the smell descending the stairs. _It's Lupin, I wish he would do something about his smell. He smells of wet dog._ Of course no one but Lupin and Dumbledore knew that. Lupin had figured out Severus' secret when he started teaching in Potter's third year, and Dumbledore had known from the beginning.

Severus continued to scan the room, seeing all of the key members of the Order present. After ten minutes, Molly served dinner. _Here comes the hard part._ Severus thought to himself, as Lupin sat on his other side.

Severus had perfected a strategy to look as though he were eating for meals at the Great Hall. He hadn't had to worry over what the other teachers thought, because Albus sat those that knew about his problem around him, so he only had to worry about the students and farther away professors. However, such close quarters were going to be a problem, never mind the fact that the Golden Trio were staring at him.

Shooting a glare at Potter, Severus looked at his options. _Bread and potatoes sit well, thank Merlin, there's pumpkin juice too, from the looks of things. I can't just have potatoes and bread, however. What else is there? Stew? No. Roast beef? No, too dry. _

"Here, Severus, have a Shepard's pie," Dumbledore passed him a plate piled high with still steaming pies.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Severus replied quietly, taking one and passing the plate onwards. _This I think I can eat, Merlin I hope so. I don't want to be bedridden for a week._

Cautiously, Severus started eating. Nothing set any alarms off, and Severus was pleased that Dumbledore had helped, probably seeing his dilemma.

"What are you doing Snivellus? Trying to watch your figure?" Black teased, seeing how little Severus had taken.

Severus bit back a particularly nasty comment, but couldn't think of anything to save himself, and direct attention.

"Sirius!" Dumbledore's tone was a warning one.

Severus managed to leave before dessert was served, feeling that something was wrong. _Knew I should have gotten myself used to foods before, I've had a whole week._

Feeling the food he had eaten start to come back up, Severus rushed to his room, hoping if he were somewhere quiet, his stomach would settle. Severus took several deep breaths, trying to figure out what he could have eaten to set himself off.

After a moment, Severus looked at the potions he had brought with him, and found a stomach settling one. He drank it, and decided he would try to eat again later to hopefully get his stomach used to the sudden change in diet.

A quiet knock on his door made him focus, "Enter!" He called.

As he suspected, Dumbledore entered, holding two steaming mugs of tea, "It's peppermint, I thought it might help you settle your stomach."

Severus took the hot cup gratefully, "Thank you, Albus."

"Not a problem, my boy. What set you off?"

"I ate too much, I think."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, "Severus, you ate less than the young Miss. Weasley."

Severus sighed, "I know. I should have tried to get used to food again before, but with Umbridge-"

"I know, Severus. Try to be less conspicuous. You know how Molly is. If she sees you in muggle clothing, she'll try to force feed you so you can gain some weight."

Severus shuddered, "I know, Albus."

Dumbledore placed a hand on Severus's shoulder, "I'm going to bed, I'll see you in the morning, my boy."

Severus watched as his friend left. He drank his tea, and set the cup on a dresser in the corner. He checked his watch to find it barely past eight-thirty. Sighing, Severus took off his outer robes and frock coat to reveal a white button down shirt and black dress pants.

Severus rolled up his sleeves and got to work on some of the potions Poppy needed for the infirmary. _Pepper-up, Sleeping draughts, and Cough potions are what she needs right now. Pepper-up is easiest to brew, and the sleeping draughts take the longest. I'll make the sleeping draught tonight. It'll brew until noon tomorrow, and then it needs to rest for an hour._

With that, Severus started to brew the Sleeping draught. Although it was a relatively easy potion to brew, the ingredients in it were extremely volatile. Severus was up until about midnight, when his natural instincts told him he should be in bed. He followed his instincts for the first time in months, and fell into the bed. Pushing his shoes off, and pulling off his shirt, he fell asleep.

END CHAPTER TWO

Again I say, I own nothing! I am not making anything off of this.


	3. Blood and Worries

Severus awoke feeling disoriented. Having no idea why he woke, he rubbed his eyes and stood. As he moved, his joints started to crack. Twisting his neck, two loud _cracks_ were heard. He knew Minerva hated the sound of him cracking his neck, so he got it over with.

He stretched, shoulders cracking. Pulling out a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt he tugged them on. Opening the door, he smelled instant coffee and waffles.

_Waffles? I haven't had homemade waffles since before Mother died. _Severus decided his morning cigarette could wait. He would have coffee and breakfast first for once. He made his way downstairs, hoping Black wouldn't be awake yet.

Casting a glance around the kitchen, he saw Minerva, Molly, Dumbledore, and Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody all awake and chatting with each other.

When Dumbledore saw him, his eyes lit up, "Hello, my boy."

Severus nodded at him, not even making an attempt at civil conversation. _Albus knows what I'm like without at least one cup of coffee in the morning, I doubt he wants to relive the experience._

Waving his hand, a cupboard opened and a cup drifted out and settled beside the kettle. Severus wearily poured the dark liquid in the cup, and swallowed a mouthful. Grimacing at the taste, Severus put the cup down.

"Is something wrong with the coffee?" Molly asked.

"Aye," Moody said, "It's not coffee."

"It's all we have, and until I can go shopping, it'll be the only coffee we have."

Severus sighed under his breath, but picked up the cup again. He swallowed the rest of it, and thought for a moment.

"What are you plotting, Severus?" Dumbledore asked.

"Better coffee."

"I can't do any-"

"Molly," Severus interrupted, "I am a Potions Master. If I couldn't brew a decent cup of coffee, I seriously doubt I would exist today."

"Don't forget, Severus,"Dumbledore said, "That this is Britain and you are in the company of several Aurors. Please do not make the coffee that is illegal in five countries."

"It's seven, soon to be eight," Severus corrected, "People in Africa will soon no longer be able to use ground up porcupine quills for anything but potion-making."

"That's too bad, Severus. I quite liked that coffee."

"As did I, Headmaster. I will be back in a moment," Severus left, and came back with several vials of different ingredients. He started to brew another coffee he had invented himself, a coffee he drank throughout the day to keep himself relatively collected during the day.

As the coffee brewed, Severus absentmindedly pulled out a cigarette, and lit it with wandless, non-verbal magic.

"Ahem," Molly cleared her throat.

Severus realized her problem, and inhaled deeply before putting the cigarette out. Albus was clearly hiding a smile, and Severus glared at him.

"Do you want any breakfast, Severus?" Molly asked, looking at him.

The Potions Master had forgone his formal robes, and now wore a sweater that hung off his frame. Severus looked down at himself and realized his mistake. Molly now knew how tiny he was. He opened his mouth to say something when an elf apparated in front of him with a _crack._

The elf was old, but the pillowcase looked nicer than that of any elf Molly had ever seen. Even the Prewett one had not looked that well taken care of.

The elf tapped her foot on the ground, staring up at Severus with her arms crossed. Severus poured two cups of coffee, and gave one to the elf, to everyone's surprise.

He began to drink the other cup, and waited. Everyone else waited in baited silence, not wanting to miss what came next.

"Master Severus," The elf began slowly, taking a drink from her cup, "You really should be learning to tell Stella when you is not coming home."

Severus nodded, and replied in a different language. It sounded like gibberish, but clearly _was_ a language. Albus smirked as he looked at the looks on the others faces. He was the only one that knew the extent of Severus's genius.

Moody cleared his throat, "Is he speaking Elvish?"

The conversation that they were all staring at was still going on, but those that were not a part of it were currently focused, waiting for the old Headmaster's answer.

"Yes, Severus knows many languages, most of which are not very well known."

The elf stamped her foot and snapped her fingers. With a sharp _crack_ she apparated away, leaving the mug behind. Severus looked annoyed, but he composed himself a moment later. He picked up the mug and put it in the sink. He rubbed his eyes, and poured himself another cup of coffee. He sat beside Albus, and placed a waffle on his plate.

He knew the others were staring at him, but he was not going to repeat the scolding he had just received from his elf. He ate listlessly, and decline when Molly offered more food. Molly kept giving him that _I'm going to force feed you_ look that she often gave to Potter.

Severus left, and stepped onto the front step. No one could see him, as long as he didn't step off the step, he could use magic and remain unseen. All of a sudden, his left arm went completely limp, and his fingers started to tingle. Severus cursed, casting his cigarette into the snow.

After years of being subjected to the Cruciatus curse, Severus had lost most feeling in his left arm. Therefore, the effects of being summoned were a little different than other Death Eaters. He swept into the front hallway, and up the stairs to his room. He put his mask into his pocket, and grabbed his wand.

He transfigured his clothes into Death Eater regalia, before going back down the stairs into the basement. Potter was there, with his friends, clutching his forehead. Severus inwardly cursed, but scanned the room for Dumbledore.

Dumbledore's blue eyes met Severus's black ones. Dumbledore nodded, and Severus ran back upstairs and outside. He turned on his heel, and apparated, allowing himself to be pulled to the spot the Dark Lord wanted him.

(LINE BREAK)

Albus watched Severus leave, and turned his attention to Harry. After a few more minutes, Harry relaxed, "What happened?"

"Voldemort summoned his followers," Dumbledore replied, not looking the young man in the eye. He didn't want Voldemort to attack him through Harry, even though avoiding the boy hurt.

"That's happened loads of times before, right?" Ronald Weasley asked, "Why is Harry's scar hurting now?"

"It's because Snape is here, right?" Sirius demanded.

Albus sighed, "I believe so."

Sirius growled, and started to rant to all who would listen about how evil Snape was, and how everything was his fault. Albus sighed again, "Sirius. This is not the time."

Sirius eventually calmed down, and went to his godson. Albus closed his eyes, trying not to worry.

_This is going to be a long night._

(LINE BREAK)

Albus had Molly serve dinner early, and send the children to one of the larger rooms to talk, and had the Order members that were at Grimmauld Place gathered in the kitchen. Everyone, except Arthur Weasley who was guarding the prophesy, was sitting at the table, eating and talking.

Despite the relaxed mood, Albus felt himself becoming more and more nervous, as far as he knew, Severus had never been Summoned for so long before.

All of a sudden, a loud _crack_ and a loud _thud _from upstairs startled Albus from his thoughts. He stood, and swept up the stairs, and into the entrance room. His heart dropped into his stomach when he saw Severus on his knees, bent over a form on the floor. He was holding his wand over the still form, muttering incantations under his breath. Albus rushed over, and knelt beside Severus. He looked at the figure, and he felt his face drain of all colour.

On the floor, was Arthur Weasley, covered in blood, with at least one nasty gash on his side. The wizard was unconscious, but his face was still pinched in pain, "Severus, what happened?"

"No time to explain," Severus paused his chanting for a moment to banish his Death Eater robes, revealing the bloodied white shirt and black slacks he wore underneath. He continued his chanting, waving his wand along the edge of Arthur's wound.

A sudden screech made Albus and Severus jump, but the black haired man did not cease the life saving enchantments. Albus turned to Molly, and ushered her upstairs with the children. He told the mother of seven to comfort the children, and herself.

That was when the portrait of Black's mother decided to wake up. The curtains that normally covered her flew back, and she began screaming in rage. Albus watched as her mad eyes landed on Severus, and she began to yell insults.

"Half-breed vermin! Let that blood traitor's blood stain my floor. Look how the Prince's line have dwindled to nothing! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FILTHY-"

Severus spun around, and snapped his fingers. The portrait burst into flame, and it fell off the wall, landing face down on the ground. The portrait's screams of anger and pain were muffled against the wooden floor.

Severus carefully, using both wand and wandless magic, banished the stained garment that Arthur was wearing. Albus was nearly sick at the sight. Two long parallel gashes marred Aruthur's side, "What happened?"

"The Dark Lord sent Nagini to the Ministry to find the weapon. Arthur was on guard, and she bit him. The Dark Lord brought him to the manor, and I rescued him as soon as I could."

"Can you save him?"

"Yes, if I'm quick. Get everyone back into the kitchen, allow Molly and Minerva if you must, but no one else."

Albus nodded, shooing everyone but Minerva away. He told her to fetch Molly, and told her to bring the children into the kitchen as well before returning. Minerva nodded, and ran upstairs, side-stepping the still burning painting.

Albus returned to Severus's side, watching the younger man slowly stitch the wounds together using a thread and a needle he had conjured and sterilized in Albus' absence. Albus heard the thunder of feet behind him, and disappear into the kitchen. Molly shrieked again.

"What is he doing? Albus stop him! He's hurting Arthur!"

Minerva pulled Molly aside, and slowly explained what Severus was doing. It did not seem to calm the other woman, however, "What do you mean he's stitching them together!? That can't help Arthur! Muggle medicine can't help him, why isn't that monster using magic?"

Severus finished stitching the first gash, wiping his forehead with his hand, smearing blood across his face. His instincts screamed at him to feed, but he ignored them. He banished the soiled needle and thread, and washed his hands with the basin of warm water he had conjured earlier. He paused for a moment, and conjured new materials, and started stitching the second gash.

Minerva's grip on Molly slipped, and the red haired witch ran to Severus, and shoved him over. Severus tugged too tightly on the thread, and he elbowed the witch out of the way. He unwound the knot using wandless magic, and continued on.

"What are you doing? Why aren't you using magic?"

"Because you insolent woman, magic would only aggravate the wound. Nagini's venom is laced with enough dark magic to kill Arthur if I use magic to combat it. I need to stop the bleeding, and this is the only way how!" Severus yelled back.

Albus touched Molly on the shoulder, "He'll be fine, Molly. Calm down."

After several more tense minutes, Severus finished the last stitch. He sighed in relief, summoning a few Blood-Replenishing potions from his supply in his room. He coaxed them down the unconscious wizard's throat, and leaned back.

Severus stared down at his hands as they started to shake uncontrollably. He clenched them, and they stopped. _This is going to hurt later._ He picked up his wand again, and conjured a new basin of warm water. He washed Arthur's wound, and then washed his hands.

Severus stared at the unconscious man, he swallowed dryly, and looked up at Albus. Albus took the signal, and levitated Arthur and carefully brought the man upstairs. Molly gladly followed Albus, glaring at Severus as she did.

Severus stood on shaky legs, and stared down at himself. Blood spread across his left sleeve, and he knew he had re-opened a few of his wounds from the last meeting as well. From long term bouts of the Cruciatus curse, he had lost most of his pain receptors in his hands and feet, but he knew if he could they would be in crippling pain.

The Dark Lord had not been pleased with the potions he had made, and had punished Severus for it. He had been held under the Cruciatus for five minutes, and was trying to delay the effects until he could retreat into his bedroom and deal with them himself.

He banished the now silent portrait, and stumbled to the stairs, fully intending to retreat up to his room to heal himself as best as he could, but Albus came back downstairs. Severus sighed, knowing his window of opportunity was gone: he would have to explain what had happened to the Order before he healed himself.

(LINE BREAK)

Finished this chapter, hope you all like it! Please R&R. PM me your comments, questions, ect. More excitement to be had in the next chapter!


	4. A Rock and a Hard Place

Albus led Severus down into the kitchen, effectively drawing the stares of everyone. Severus hid his eyes behind his curtain of black hair, not wanting to meet anyone's gaze. Albus' grip on his arm tightened reassuringly.

"What'd you do, Snape?" Sirius asked tauntingly.

Severus glared at the fugitive, but said nothing. He sat down at the kitchen table, and sighed, "If Arthur survives the night, his chances are-"

"What do you mean? 'if he survives', huh, Snape?" Sirius demanded.

Snape buried his anger, "The bites Arthur sustained are grievous. I'll need to create a potion that will allow the wounds to heal. I've made a few prototypes, but I've never had to use any of them," _and besides, all of them are for my physique, not Arthur's. I don't want to kill the man._

"But, sir," Severus snapped his gaze to the group of pre-teens that crowded one end of the table. Granger was looking at him thoughtfully, "I thought that stitches helped heal wounds."

Severus nodded, "In muggle medicine, yes. In this case, I needed to stop the bleeding long enough so I can make up the potion to allow Arthur's magical core to heal the wound-"

"But wouldn't it do that normally?" Remus asked.

"Nagini's venom stops that from happening."

"S-sir," Severus didn't remove his gaze from Granger, "You're bleeding."

Suddenly, all attention went to Severus' appearance. Severus shifted his left arm closer to his torso. He himself didn't want to see the Dark Mark, much less try to treat his wounds with everyone staring. Albus cleared his throat, "Severus. You should take care of yourself."

Severus held himself back from rolling his eyes, but just barely, "I'll be fine."

Albus looked at him, peering over his half-moon spectacles. Severus suddenly felt like he was eleven years old again, but didn't make a move. Albus cleared his throat, "Severus."

Severus shifted his gaze to the children, "I doubt Molly would appreciate-"

"They should learn to recognize a Dark Mark," Mad-Eye growled.

Severus looked up to Albus, but the older man nodded sombrely. Severus swallowed dryly, and started to unbutton the shirt with fumbling fingers. He managed to get it off, wincing as it stuck to several of his wounds.

He avoided looking at anyone as they took in his body. Severus felt his already strained nerves start to become even more so at all the attention. He looked down at himself, trying not to wince at what he saw.

His chest and stomach was covered in scars of all sorts. Severus could see all of his ribs, they looked like they were going to rip his skin open. Some of them jutted out at odd angles, from when his father had pushed him down the stairs: his mother hadn't been able to set them properly.

One of the recent wounds he had stitched shut had popped a stitch. It was leaking blood, but Severus waved a hand over it, and it closed shut. As he did so, Severus' adrenaline rush finally ended, and he felt at least one of the whip lashes on his back threatening to open as well.

The occupants of the room were staring at him, open mouthed. No one said a thing as Severus rested his left hand on the table, revealing the source of the blood. Severus' face drained of all colour, and he felt his heart leap into his throat.

His Dark Mark was bleeding, small rivulets of it flowing over his pale skin, "Severus, what's wrong with it?"

"He knows," Severus kept his voice calm, if a little strained, "Albus, he knows."

"You can't know that!" Sirius growled, "You're just playing a trick on us. Bastard."

"Sirius!" Albus snapped, bringing everyone's attention to the headmaster, "That is enough. Explain, please Severus."

Severus swallowed, conjuring a damp cloth, and tried to wipe away the blood, "It's what happened to Regulus when the Dark Lord found out about him."

"What do you mean?" Sirius demanded, "What do you know about my brother!?"

Severus lifted his left and to rub his forehead when it suddenly went completely limp. It landed on the table with a soft _thump. _He swallowed, an stood up, "He wants me."

Albus flicked his wand, and Severus' left arm was bandaged tightly. With a wave, a dark sweater was conjured, covering his pale skin. Severus sighed, "Thank you. You know what to do if I die. Don't let the children out of the house, I believe he'll instruct the Death Eaters to dump me in the park outside,"

Albus rested a hand on his shoulder, "You will not die."

Severus looked at him incredulously. Albus smiled, and called Fawkes. The phoenix appeared with a flash of light, momentarily blinding the occupants of the room. Fawkes climbed onto Severus' shoulder and with another flash of light turned into a phoenix pendent. Severus placed the necklace under the sweater, casting several shielding charms.

He turned on his heel, and left. As soon as he hit the step, he spun on his heel, following the Dark Lord's magic.

(LINE BREAK)

When he appeared, he realized that he was at Malfoy Manor. Severus swallowed, knowing it was the entrance hall. He swept into the next room, head high. He would not show any shame, because he didn't feel any.

Immediately, Severus was disarmed. He swallowed, but didn't expose his powerful wandless magic. He looked around. The Dark Lord was present, as were the Malfoy's and Bellatrix Lestrange. Severus swallowed, but walked in as if nothing was wrong.

He stopped in front of Voldemort, but did not bow, or grovel. He was terrified, normally slow heartbeat pounding in his chest. He carefully cast a legilimens spell behind his occulmency shield. Severus' mind brushed up against Lucius'. The green silk allowed him entrance, _Severus, what did you do?_

_Don't give me that. You've suspected for a while._

Lucius mentally snorted, _I never said such a thing._

_You didn't need to._

"Severus Snape," The Dark Lord's voice was dangerous and silky, "Are you mine?"

Severus' black irises met Voldemort's red ones, "You know the answer to that."

The Dark Lord sneered, "You know above all others, what the penalty for your betrayal will be."

Severus swallowed, "I know, and I do not care."

_Severus!_ Lucius looked calm outwardly, but Severus could hear his friend's heart pounding. _You're antagonizing him!_

_I know, that's the point. Get ready, I'm getting you all out._

_Don't worry about me, get-_

_No. I'm not leaving you here to suffer under that madman any longer. Just be ready._

"Crucio!" Voldemort yelled, Severus went down, biting back a scream of agony, "Do you still refuse to scream? I will soon break that habit!"

Bellatrix laughed madly, brandishing her wand, "Can I torture the traitor, my lord? He deserves to know pain!"

Voldemort flicked his wand, and the spell ended. Severus lay panting for breath, getting himself ready for what he was going to do.

"I admire your enthusiasm, Bellatrix. But I need him alive, and you have a tendency to kill your pets quickly. You may watch, however."

Severus screwed his eyes shut, and reached for Narcissa's mind, not dropping Lucius's. Severus had never done something like this before, so he kept his attempts behind his strongest shields.

_Narcissa?_ His mental voice seemed strained even to him. He couldn't sense Narcissa's mind, either. He could recognize it anywhere, it was polished porcelain. Nothing, no answer. He was momentarily jolted when Voldemort continued his assault. He delved beneath his shields, allowing his body to convulse in pain. He didn't let himself scream, however, only allowing the occasional whimper to pass his lips.

Severus reached his conscious to Narcissa again. This time, he was met with an internal wall that he had encountered a few times. Severus knew his time was running out, and slammed his whole being into the wall. He even used the mental powers he normally condoned. The wall collapsed, and Severus was suddenly assaulted with awareness he had never experienced before.

The Dark Lord's mind was a massive, red sea. Bellatrix's was a chipped black stone, half swallowed by the red sea. Draco's was chipped emerald, smooth as glass, but damaged.

Severus burst into Narcissa's mind and Draco's at once, reaffirming his connection with Lucius. _You hear me, correct? _

Narcissa's eyes widened, and her grip on Draco's shoulder tightened. _Yes._ Her and her son answered in unison.

_Good, get ready. _Voldemort let up the curse. _Come to me when I give the signal. All three of you._

Voldemort stalked over, and Severus followed his movements. He glared at his former master, taking a deep breath. The Dark Lord looked at him, and smirked a twisted smile, "Sectumsempra."

_Now! Come here! _Severus finally allowed a yell to pass his lips as he felt his own spell tear through him. Using all the power he possessed, Severus threw Voldemort across the room. Bellatrix ran to her lord's side, allowing the Malfoys to run over to him.

"FAWKES NOW!" Severus bellowed. He felt the phoenix change shape, and grab hold of his sweater with the bird's talons. He felt Lucius grab hold of his arm, Narcissa practically threw herself over his abdomen, and Draco grabbed his leg.

Severus was momentarily blinded from a flash of white light, and felt a magic so pure scoop him up he thought he was going to throw up. He landed on a hard surface that broke underneath him. He felt, and heard several loud _snaps._ His torso exploded into pain, and he gave a dry cry of pain.

Narcissa was roughly pulled off him, and he found himself suddenly surrounded by minds. His eyes flew open, he reached for his wand. He realized he no longer had, it, and cursed under his breath. Severus looked around, he was surrounded by Order members. He had landed on one edge of the kitchen table, and it had smashed to pieces.

Sirius held his wand pointed to his cousin's throat. Narcissa's blue eyes were wide with fear. Lucius was being detained by Moody, who looked gleeful. Draco was kneeling beside Severus, eyes wide, but his facade firmly in place.

"Enough!" Severus growled, shoving his pain behind the double-sided shield that lingered at the back of his mind. He stood, hand at the ready.

All eyes turned to him, "Black, lower your wand. Moody, put yours away too."

"They're Death Eaters!"

"In the beginning. Now they were just keeping each other, and their son, safe," Severus felt his annoyance with the Order rise, "Where's Dumbledore?"

"Speaking with Molly. The kids are upstairs," Tonks spoke up, eyes wide, "I'll go get-"

"Tonks!" Moody growled, "You will stay here."

Tonks swallowed, but did as she was told. Severus felt his heart sink, unless Albus Dumbledore came into the kitchen soon, he would need to answer many uncomfortable questions. His eyes met Lucius', and he saw his friend was thinking the same thing.

_This is going to be a disaster._

(LINE BREAK)

Author's Note: I still don't own HP! If anyone has comments/questions/suggestions, let me know. You can either PM me, or leave it in your review! No flames, please!


	5. Blood and Boggarts

A wave of dizziness clouded Severus' vision, and he slowly moved to a nearby chair and lowered himself into it. He was suddenly, painfully aware of the pain shooting through his whole body. The dizziness was accompanied with a very acute lightheaded feeling. Severus took a deep breath, wincing as his whole body protested.

_Severus?_

Severus was impressed, how had he managed to keep the link between him and Lucius open? He knew he had dropped the ones between Draco and Narcissa. _Lucius?_

_You're being stared at. What's wrong?_

_Don't know, can't think. Can barely breathe... _

_Black is trying to ask you questions. _

_Oh, lovely. Don't think I have enough air to reply, even if I were paying attention. _Lucius looked closely at his friend. The man's pale skin was ashen, eyes staring straight ahead. Blood was smeared over his hands, on his clothes, and in his hair.

_I think you're going into shock._

Severus didn't reply, mentally or otherwise. His breathing quickened, however, and his gaze became more determined and focused.

"Snape!" Sirius snapped, "Stop ignoring me, you prat-"

"Don't talk to him like that, you stupid blood-" Draco started, pulling out his wand.

"Draco!" Lucius and Narcissa exclaimed at the same time.

Draco stared at his parents, mouth open in shock. He lowered his wand, but cast a glare at Sirius.

"_Ahem_," Everyone, but Severus, turned at the Headmaster's quiet entrance. Albus' blue eyes scanned the room, resting on Severus, "Severus?"

Severus didn't reply, just kept staring. Albus walked over, placing a hand on Severus' shoulder. _Severus?_

Severus blinked slowly, he felt the message Albus had sent him. Albus' mind was the scent of lemon in a summer breeze. _Albus, you always smell of sunlight. _

_What's wrong, my boy?_

_He's trying to break through my shields. He's broken the first one. Damn Dark Mark._

"Oh, Severus," Albus said softly.

"Albus... His mind is a sea of blood," Severus' voice was quiet, hoarse. He clearly was trying to fight off whatever Voldemort was trying to do. He was cradling his left arm in his right.

"What the hell is going on?" Sirius demanded.

_Albus, please help me... I've lost a lot of blood. I can't..._ Severus' eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fell from the chair. Albus caught him before he hit the floor, worried, "Severus!"

Albus gently lowered Severus to the floor. He pushed the chair away, and started to cast diagnostic spells. After a moment, Albus banished Severus' shirt, and winced. Severus' chest was covered with cuts that were still leaking blood. Albus started casting healing spells over the young man, hoping to stop the bleeding.

When most of the wounds were shut, Albus sighed. _I'm sorry, Severus, _"_Enervate_."

Severus jolted awake, sitting up with a ragged gasp for air. One hand flung to his ribs, "Albus?"

"Is Voldemort-?"

Severus clenched his jaw, and winced, "Yes, he's still here.."

"I'm sorry, you know what I need to do."

Severus nodded, teeth still clenched, "Just do it, now."

Albus leaned forward, so his forehead was touching Severus'. Greasy, black strands of hair mingled with white strands. Severus clenched his eyes shut, and Albus shut his. Albus began to chant in Latin, and a soft, blue light surrounded Severus.

Albus plunged into the dark, cold sea that was Severus' mind. He could sense the vile sea of blood attempting to bury itself in Severus' mind. Albus could tell Severus was stalling the other sea's progress, but found a deep corner to put up the walls in which he was going to put the Order's secrets.

_What do you want me to put behind the magical barrier? _

_Nothing. I'm holding him back, distracting him with my own memories. Don't worry about me, he'll find out the truth about my heritage soon enough. Just get the Order's secrets behind that barrier! _Severus' mental voice was strained, but clear.

Albus sighed mentally, and carefully constructed a barrier in Severus' mind, imbuing it with his own magic, and some of Severus'. Once the barrier was sound, Albus summoned all memories pertaining to the Order, and allowed them into the barrier before shutting it off again. _There, it's safe. I'm leaving, Severus. _

Albus opened his eyes to see the blue glow gone. He crouched next to his spy for a moment, wondering if he had done the right thing.

"What did you do?" Lucius asked.

"I erected a magical barrier in Severus' mind. He has access to it because I gave him permission. Any person who tries to breach the wall will suffer from an intense migraine. The wall will absorb energy thrown at it, and reflect it at the invader. Behind this wall, I put Severus' knowledge of the Order. Once Voldemort tries to breach this wall, he should leave Severus' mind alone."

"Are you sure we're safe?" Sirius asked.

Albus' eyes flashed, "The Order as a whole is as safe as it is on any other day."

Sirius backed down, glaring daggers at Severus. Severus swallowed dryly, and carefully got to his feet. He looked at Albus, "Thank you."

Albus smiled, eyes twinkling, "I take it he gave up?"

"He did. He tested the wall, but decided it better to leave."

"Good. Did he find out?"

"I don't know. I threw everything at him. All my memories are all tangled together... He could have, I suppose."

"What are you talking about? What did You-Know-Who find out?"

"None of your concern, Black," Severus snarled. He stood on unsteady feet, and swallowed. He removed his hand from his ribs. He grimaced and looked around, "Where did my shirt go?"

"I removed it, Severus. I couldn't tell the extent of your injuries. I apologize."

Severus shrugged, and walked unsteadily toward the stairs, turning his back to the others. Albus sighed, "You opened a few of your wounds, Severus."

Severus sneered, "I can take care of it myself," He swept up the stairs, not looking back.

Albus sighed, and rubbed his temples, wishing he could banish the thought of Severus' marred back from his mind.

Tonks cleared her throat, "What did he do to his back?"

Albus turned his gaze to the Auror, "It is not my story to tell."

(LINE BREAK)

Severus slammed the door to his room shut, and leaned against the wood. He went to his suitcase to retrieve fresh clothing, got his potions, and his first aid kit, all before slipping into the bathroom a floor down.

Sever kept one arm wrapped around his aching ribs, cursing the Dark Lord with all the spite he could muster. He dumped his supplies on the counter around the sink, and stripped off his pants. Severus turned on the taps for the bath, and began to examine his wounds.

_Albus healed my wounds, and surprisingly, my Dark Mark isn't bleeding anymore. My back feels as if I had been held over a bed of hot coals. Damn, should have got Albus to help... _A sudden wave of nausea assaulted him, and he leaned into the sink, throwing up the meagre contents of his stomach. Severus shakily wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked in the mirror, and winced._ I look like hell._

Memories he had banished to dwell inside his shields surfaced, and Severus felt his nausea rise again. Severus swallowed down the bile, and carefully lowered himself into the bath. After a few moments, he summoned the potions near the sink, and dumped one into the hot water.

The water stung his back, but the potion that he added slowly began to knit the skin back together. _Need to be careful the next few days, I do not want to reopen any of these._ Severus sighed, closing his eyes and soaking up the warmth of the bath.

He drank the other potions down, one by one. _I should check on Arthur..._ Severus carefully stood up, pulling the plug on the bath with a foot. He dried himself off with a towel, and dressed in the fresh clothing.

Severus burned the pants he had been wearing, and carried the empty potion bottles in his room, not bothering to shut the door. He set them on his dresser, and spun around when he heard a door opening.

It was the door to the wardrobe. Severus approached the wardrobe, reaching out a hand to shut it, when the impossibly large figure of Tobias Snape stepped out of the wardrobe.

Severus stared slack jawed at his father, "But, you're dead," He looked at his hands, and realized they were shaking. Severus backed away from the wardrobe, feeling his heart begin to pound in his chest. Memories of his father swirled around in his head, making his heart race faster. Tobias smiled gleefully at his son, but matched him step for step.

Severus hit a wall, and slid down it, finding his legs to weak to support him, "Useless as always, eh boy?"

Severus blinked, remembering his mother. _I was useless, couldn't save her... _Tobias Snape changed into Eileen Snape (nee Prince) hanging dead from a noose that was tied to nothing. The image quickly changed back into Tobias.

_Boggart... damn..._

The boggart leered, towering above him, "Do you realize how much money you cost this household a month, boy? Without you, your useless mother and I would have been able to move away from here, and I could have found a real job!"

Severus squeezed his eyes shut. _Thinkofsomethingfunnythinkofsomethingfunny..._but found he couldn't with all his memories swirling around in his head. His mind thought of the next thing he had been terrified of growing up; werewolves.

(LINE BREAK)

Author's Note: HA! I feel happy now that I've updated this for you guys. Anyway, I don't feel bad about this cliffhanger. At all. As usual, PM me or review questions/comments/suggestions.

I still don't own Harry Potter, so don't sue me.

Until next time!


	6. Antidotes and Explosions

Remus Lupin had been checking up on Arthur when he noticed that the man seemed to be in pain, and was unresponsive. Remus decided, that even though Albus had told everyone not to, that he should ask Snape for help.

Remus walked up the stairs, and spotted the room Molly had given Snape and found the door was open. He carefully knocked on the door frame, and peeked inside, "I apologize for bothering you, but-" He broke off, staring stunned at the image before him.

Snape was backed up into a wall, hugging his knees to his chest. In front of him lay the corpse of Lily Evans Potter. Remus felt his heart leap into his throat, and willed himself to step in front of the potions master. He found he could not mover, however.

Lily's corpse changed suddenly to that of a thick browed woman hanging from a rope around her neck. The woman was pale and thin, with long greasy hair. She was also very dead.

It once again changed to a hulking man, and Remus immediately noticed that the room stank of booze. The huge man clomped forward, exhaling beery breath, "What are you doing, you useless lump of flesh?!"

Snape seemed to curl up on himself even more, and that snapped Remus out of his shock. He stepped into the room, and raised his wand. The boggart suddenly turned into the full moon, and Remus waved his wand, "_Riddikulus!_"

With a _pop_ the boggart vanished. Remus knelt beside Severus, and looked into the other mans eyes. The black pools were glazed over and empty, "Severus?" Remus asked.

Snape slowly blinked, as if being awakened after a long sleep. He stared up at Remus for a moment, but his gaze drifted to where the boggart had been masquerading as the corpse of Lily.

Remus slowly stood up, and exited the room. He quickly descended the stairs, and went into the basement, where Albus was talking to the Malfoys. Remus paused in the door, "Albus."

The blue eyes flicked to the werewolf, "What's wrong?"

"It's Snape... There was a boggart in his room-"

Albus stood, and strode right by Remus. Remus blinked, and followed the older wizard back upstairs. Severus had not moved from his previous position. Albus knelt beside the man, "Severus?"

Severus blinked, and his eyes lost their glazed look, "Albus?"

"Severus, what happened?"

"Boggart. Relived _everything._"

"I'm sorry, my boy. I can help you recreate your shields later."

"Thank you," Severus slowly stood up, swaying. His knees and ankles cracked as he moved, and Severus winced.

"What is wrong?"

Albus looked at Remus questioningly, "Yes, what _is_ wrong?"

"It's Arthur, he.. well he looks to be in pain, but isn't waking up or anything."

Severus swore, "Let me see him. I think the poison might be on the move."

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, following the tall man out of the room, and down the stairs.

"The poison is moving away from the cuts, and entering his bloodstream."

"Severus, you need to rest," Albus said softly.

Severus flung the door to Arthur's room open, "I will be fine, Albus. I will not leave seven children without a father."

With that, the irate man snapped the door shut, leaving Remus and Albus standing out in the hallway. Remus blinked, "Something is wrong with him, isn't there?"

Albus nodded sombrely, "A great many things. More then most of you can imagine."

Albus slowly walked back downstairs. Remus stared at the door, and slowly turned around. He followed Albus into the basement.

(LINE BREAK)

Severus leaned against the door, trying to muster his strength. He opened his eyes to find Molly Weasly staring at him, holding her husband's limp hand. Severus felt shame burn in his chest, and he stood fully.

"Lupin told me he thought something was wrong."

"I heard. He's gotten worse, tensed up more. What's wrong?"

"I don't know," Severus moved to Arthur's side, and checked the wizard's pulse. He gently pulled the covers back to reveal a bare torso.

"We thought it would be easier to get to his wounds."

Severus nodded, and gently prodded at the bandages with his fingers, "Do you still carry chocolate with you?"

Molly blinked, taken aback, "O-of course. Ever since I found that boggart, I thought i-it would be best."

Severus bit his lip, and gently pulled the bandages back, wondering if he should ask or not. The bandage peeled away from the wound, wet with blood, "He hasn't popped any stitches."

Molly went beet red, and looked at her lap. She noticed that Severus' hands were shaking. Molly dug into her pocket, "Here, dear," She held out a chocolate bar, an Severus cautiously took it. He put it in one of his pockets, and returned to his work.

Severus waved a hand over the wound, and winced. The wound, and the area around it glowed red. Molly felt her panic rise, "What's wrong?"

"The poison is spreading into the rest of him."

"What does that mean?"

"If he were conscious, he would be in pain."

"You can help him, can't you?" Molly felt desperate.

Severus looked her in the eye, "I can," _I think_. Severus bandaged the area again, and carefully checked Arthur's pulse again.

Molly watched, and guilt rose in her chest, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Molly stared, had he forgotten about what she had done and said while he was trying to save her husband? "For earlier. I understand now that you were doing what was best for Arthur."

Severus pulled the blankets back over the wound, "It's fine, Molly. You were worried, and I was doing something you thought was wrong."

"I'm sorry nonetheless."

Severus slowly nodded, "I'm going to see if I can use anything from my previous attempts at making an antidote. If I do, it will be quicker."

Molly nodded, "Thank you."

Severus swept from the room, shutting the door behind him. Molly watched and then turned her attention back to her husband.

(LINE BREAK)

Severus was sitting in his room, with his books, papers, and various other materials floating around him. His door was shut, and he could no longer hear anyone whispering about him.

He also could no longer hear Arthur's weak heartbeat. This made him work faster, and surprisingly, he had done wonders.

He hadn't taken time to eat the chocolate Molly had given him, and he know felt the effects of everything. His hands were shaking so badly, he couldn't hold anything without dropping, which was why he was levitating his things so he could actually read them.

All his memories were crowding around in his head as well, making his brain pulse with fire with every heartbeat. Severus also knew he had missed at least one dose of all his medications, and it was starting to show.

Something suddenly clicked, and the objects floating around him fell to the ground. _I'm so stupid._ Severus stood on legs that were barely holding him up as he stumbled to his cauldron. Albus had bottled the sleeping draught he had been brewing earlier, and cleaned the cauldron for him. _Thank Merlin, I don't think I could do that now._

Filling it halfway with water, Severus lit the fire underneath, raising the temperature so he could get the water boiling. With a snap of his fingers, the books stacked themselves against the wall, and the paper he had been magically writing his theories on.

He next summoned ingredients to himself, and started sorting the order of what he needed. Soon, the water began to boil, and Severus began to brew.

(LINE BREAK)

Remus was in the basement, enjoying a cup of tea when the whole house shook with a loud _boom_ echoing from upstairs. Remus set his tea down, and drew his wand. Tonks, Mad-Eye, and Albus followed.

They quickly travelled to the attic, and found the door open. Smoke poured from the room, making it difficult to see. Albus waved his wand, and the smoke cleared.

Remus peered into the room, to find it completely intact, except the cauldron. Severus was cursing, full potion bottle in hand. His hair was plastered to his face with sweat, and a smudge of dust was on the bridge of his nose.

He looked up, "Damn thing exploded."

"What happened?"

"I haven't the slightest idea. I bottled some of the potion, and turned to get the next vile when it exploded."

Severus held up the vile in his hand, "I think it might have been the antidote, most of the ingredients I used are very volatile. I wasn't quick enough to bottle it, perhaps that is the reason..." He trailed off, and looked at the group questioningly.

"Good job, Severus," Albus said, putting his wand away, "Now, if you will administer your antidote to Arthur, I will clean up in here for you."

Severus slowly nodded, and swept from the room, potion in hand.

Remus shared a glance with Tonks, who shrugged, "Is he really that good?"

"Yes. We left him uninterrupted, and he is under an extreme amount of pressure. If this had been a simple side project, it would have taken him months to complete."

Mad-Eye grunted, and stomped back down the stairs, Tonks following. Remus looked around the room, "I knew he was good, I just didn't think he was this brilliant."

Albus nodded, and smiled, "Potions are one of Severus' many talents. He has an intuitive knowledge about what can work and what can not."

Remus nodded, "He's not doing well, is he?"

"No. I believe after he administers the antidote, he will crash."

Remus bit his lip, and turned, walking back down the stairs.

(LINE BREAK)

Author's Note: voila! Another chapter done! Any comments, suggestions, etc can be left in a review or a Private Message. I don't care which one you pick.

Still don't own Harry Potter, please don't sue.


	7. Breakfast and Socks

The next few days were tense. The Malfoys kept to themselves, not wanting to start trouble. Arthur began to improve, slowly, but steadily.

But Albus was still worried, for Severus had yet to awaken. When Albus had told Remus that the potions master was going to crash, he hadn't been kidding.

After giving Arthur the antidote, Severus had stumbled back to his room, stripped off all clothing but his pants, and collapsed into his bed. Currently, he was on his back, snoring softly.

Albus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, he gently pressed his fingers into the other man's throat, checking his pulse. _It's not racing like it was, I think his systems are returning to normal._

Of course, Severus' norms were not the norms for other people. His heart beat far slower then a normal wizards, and was even slower when asleep or when he was at rest. Severus was colder, too, only at about ninety degrees Fahrenheit instead of ninety eight degrees.

Albus gently placed a hand on Severus' forehead, and found the skin cold to the touch. _No fever anymore either, this is good. _Albus stood from his vigil near the other mans bedside, and left, quietly shutting the door behind him.

(LINE BREAK)

Severus became aware of his hunger first. It wasn't his usual hunger either, it was a hunger for actual _food._ Next, he became aware of how much better he felt. _Albus must be making sure I'm getting my potions..._

Severus opened his eyes, and found himself in his room, several blankets covering his thin frame. He looked around, and saw a comfortable chair near his bedside. No one was occupying it.

Severus cautiously sat up, pushing the blankets off. All of his muscles felt mechanical, stiff. Severus stretched, trying to regain some sense of normalcy. He slipped into a clean pair of pants and a shirt, before quietly making his way downstairs. _It looks like Christmas threw up in here._

The entire house was decorated in bright Christmas colours, with tinsel and garland wrapped or draped around everything. Severus shook his head, and walked barefoot into the sitting room. A massive Christmas tree with moving ornaments and a miniature flying Santa with all his reindeer flew around the top of the tree. A massive pile of presents lay under the tree, with many smaller boxes and cards gracing the trees branches amongst the ornaments.

Severus rolled his eyes, but summoned the presents he had brought with him. There were only two. He turned his back from the tree, and went into the basement. Severus looked at the clock, and realized why he was the only one awake; it was three o'clock in the morning.

Severus sighed, and looked around the kitchen, figuring out what he wanted. His stomach growled, and he mentally threw caution into the wind. _I'll make breakfast for everyone; might as well. I'll do my good deed for the day._

(LINE BREAK)

After cooking enough food for a small army, Severus himself ate some of what he made. He had scrambled eggs with sausage and homefries. He poured himself a large cup of coffee, and enjoyed the food.

When he was finished, he enchanted everything to stay warm and fresh. Severus washed all the pots and dishes he used, except those in use, and refilled his mug. A smug smirk graced his features, and then he went outside for a smoke.

(LINE BREAK)

Albus woke to the smell of sausage, bacon, and toast. He found himself remarkably hungry, and decided he would run down for a quick cuppa and some toast before checking on Severus. When he went downstairs, he realized that no one else seemed to be awake.

This worried Albus, then he heard the front door open and shut, and someone shuffle down the stairs. Albus smiled, bright and big, when he saw Severus enter the kitchen. Severus looked mildly surprised, "Albus."

"Did you make all of this, my boy?"

"Yes.. I was hungry."

Albus smiled, and hugged Severus. Severus tensed, "Happy Christmas, Severus."

"H-happy Christmas, Albus."

Albus pulled away, and rubbed his hands together, looking over the veritable feast that lay before him, "You made a feast, Severus."

The other wizard shrugged, filling up two mugs of coffee. One he gave to Albus, "There's a lot of people here. As well as a good number of teenagers."

Albus nodded, and sat down, "How are you feeling?"

"Strange. Still hungry, but I don't want to overdo it. I'm still stiff, and my neck refuses to crack."

Albus glared at Severus, "You should stop that horrible habit, Severus. You could hurt yourself."

Severus snorted, and muttered something into his coffee. Albus sighed, and started eating. Severus watched with a small smile on his face, and picked up a piece of toast for himself.

"This was very kind of you, Severus. I know Molly was wondering what she was going to make for breakfast."

Severus sipped his coffee again, "This wasn't a big deal, Albus. I was cooking already."

Albus smiled, eyes twinkling.

(LINE BREAK)

Molly awoke to a feeling of panic. The clock in the room her and Arthur shared told her it was eight thirty. She had been planning on waking up at six so she could cook for all of the children, and the Order.

She looked over to see Arthur was out of bed. Once Severus had given her husband the antidote, he recuperated quickly. Molly didn't like that Arthur was making light of his injuries, but she knew he was only trying to put everyone's minds at ease.

She got up, and changed into one of her sets of robes, and hurried downstairs. Once she reached the basement, all she smelled was food. The smells of toast, bacon, sausages, and other foodstuffs permeated the air.

She opened to door to find everyone up and eating. All of the children were still in their pyjamas, while most of the order were dressed in comfortable clothing. Arthur looked up from his plate, and smiled, "Hello, dear. I didn't want to wake you."

"Who made all of this?" Molly asked, sitting down.

"I don't know, but whoever did is a damn good cook," Sirius mumbled in between bites, "Not quite the same as how you make things though. I think I like your sausages better."

Molly smiled, "Well whoever did this did an admirable job,"

"I hope so, Severus has been cooking for a very long time," Albus said from his position near the coffee maker.

With that announcement, everyone froze. Everyone except the Malfoys. They continued to eat, and make quiet conversation amongst the three of them.

Sirius, who had been taking a swig of pumpkin juice when the announcement was made, spit it back into his cup. Mad-Eye looked as though he were going to be sick, and all of the teens put down their forks.

The large smile on Albus' face dissipated, "Severus worked very hard to make this for everyone."

Sirius snorted, and stood, "Right."

Molly glared at everyone, and began to eat. Hermione, Tonks, Remus, Arthur, and Minerva began to eat again. With several glares, and a few elbows, the rest of the teens began eating again. The rest of breakfast was spent in tense silence. Sirius and Mad-Eye left, much to Albus' chagrin.

When everyone was finished, and the dishes cleared, everyone went upstairs. The teens hovered close to the tree, either sitting or standing. The adults conjured chairs, or sat in the available furniture.

The Malfoys, however, hovered near the doorway. Lucius looked unsure of himself, and Narcissa looked nervous. Draco swallowed, looking around. He knew a large number of people in the group, but had treated most of them horribly.

A hand closed over his shoulder, and Draco turned to see his godfather. Severus smiled weakly at the boy, and pressed a small package into his hand.

Draco looked confused, and looked at his parents, who were smiling encouragingly. Draco opened it, and found a small box nestled into his hand. He opened the box, and found a Gringotts key. He looked up at his parents, confused, "I thought-"

"We knew something was going to happen for months, we thought it best to start funnelling some of our money into an account for you so you would still have some money, even if the Dark Lord spends all of the money we have in our main vaults."

Draco nodded slowly, "What am I supposed to do with it?"

There's enough to pay for the education required for any wizarding job you want. There's also enough for you to leave England once you turn seventeen. What you do with it is up to you, but I assume you'll wait to decide on what to do once the war is over," Severus replied, "This is a gift from your parents and I."

"And you?" Draco repeated. He looked at the key, then looked to the three adults standing before him, "Thank you," the words were hesitant and unsure, but sincere. Before Severus could blink, Draco had hugged him, then dissapeared upstairs.

Narcissa hugged him as well, whispering a thanks into his ear, before disappearing as well. Lucius smiled at him before following his wife and son.

Severus sighed, he had never been good with physical displays of emotion. He looked to find everyone else preoccupied with other things. _Except Albus.. thank Merlin he only noticed._

The older wizard beckoned for him to sit down. Severus cautiously sat beside Albus, unsure of what to expect. Albus' eyes were twinkling, and he gently pushed a small, narrow box into Severus' hand, "Happy Christmas."

Severus knew there was no point in arguing. He carefully unwrapped the package to reveal a slim box. Severus opened the box, and felt his throat go dry, "Isn't this?-"

"My wand before I took Grindlewald's. I'm not entirely sure if it will suite you or not, but it is worth a try."

Severus pulled out the wand, unsure of what to expect. The wood felt warm in his hands, and didn't seem to unhappy about being given to someone else. Severus waved the wand, and the small box it had been nestled in before shot up, above what Severus had been thinking of.

Albus looked curious, "What is going on?"

"I'm not sure," Severus lowered the box, but this time, Severus kept his senses trained on the wand. He suddenly understood, "It's concentrating too much magic through."

"Why?"

"I'll do some tests later, thank you Albus. This is an amazing gift."

"That's not all, Severus."

Severus was confused, "What do you?-"

Albus pulled a large bottle filled with a dark red liquid from his robes, "You know what this is."

"Who?"

"Everyone with the same blood type donated," Albus' answer was quiet.

"Thank you," Severus took the bottle, and hefted the cool, glass bottle.

"It's not a problem, my boy. No one knows, of course."

"Obviously."

Albus smiled. Severus summoned a small package to him, and handed it to Albus. Immediately, a hushed silence fell over the room. Severus looked around to see everyone staring at him. _Trying to see what I got for the powerful Albus Dumbledore._

Albus ripped through the wrapping, and smiled. He held a thick, woolen pair of socks in his hand, "Thank you very much, Severus. I needed more of these."

Severus felt his lips quirk into a smile, "It is not a problem at all, Albus."

Through his peripheral vision, Severus saw that everyone in the room, except for Potter, looked completely surprised. Minerva looked appalled in her tartan robes. Severus bit back a smile. _She's giving herself a coronary. She's probably wondering who would have thought that the great and powerful Albus Dumbledore needed something as simple as socks?_

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I hope you guys like this chapter, and enjoy some of the humour I've put in. I have to admit, I laughed while writing the breakfast scene with Sirius.

As always, feedback is a great and wonderful thing. Feel free to review or PM me suggestions, comments and questions. I don't mind, really I don't.

Still don't own Harry Potter.


	8. Boxes and Phoenixes

This chapter contains some pretty heavy angst, mentions of suicide, torture, self harm, etc. Lots of triggers. You have been warned. No, seriously, if you can't handle it, don't read.

I mean it, this chapter is kinda heavy.

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Molly stared at the pair of socks in Albus's hands, wondering if what she had thought about the old headmaster was wrong. A quick glance around the room fortified the thought. Everyone but Harry and Severus looked shocked about the simpleness of the present, and it had been Severus that had given Albus the socks in the first place.

After a few minutes of surprised silence, everyone remembered what they were doing, and went back to it. Molly decided it would be a good time to give Severus his gift. She swallowed nervously, then extracted the present from under the tree. She strode over to the Potions Master, and swallowed, "This is from us, for saving Arthur."

She pressed the large box into Severus' hands, and wrung her hands nervously.

Severus felt his eyebrows disappear into his hairline. _Merlin's pants, two gifts? I'm shocked._ He took the package, "Thank you,"

Molly smiled weakly, "It's the least we could do."

Severus cautiously opened the gift, unsure. Underneath the wrapping paper was a silver box. The smell of the silver hit Severus like a blow to the head. _It's real, pure silver... damn._ Severus swallowed, and looked at Molly, eyebrows raised.

"There's many valuable potions ingredients in there. Silver is supposed to preserve them, so... we thought you could use this and what's inside."

Severus looked at the box thoughtfully, and found the latch keeping it shut. It was simple, but Severus would have to hold the silver for a moment or two before it opened. He cast a look to Albus out of the corner of his eyes, and found the older man talking with Sirius.

Severus noticed Lupin staring at him, eyes wide. Severus swallowed, and quickly grasped the latch, and twisted it. The box sprung open, and Severus pulled his hand back. The smell of burnt flesh invaded his nose, overpowering the silver. Severus was suddenly glad he could not feel his hands as he was certain the silver would have hurt beyond anything.

As a Potions Master, he had been burnt by silver on more than one occasion. Many advanced potions required silver, or had to be bottled, stirred, or stored in silver tools. Generally, Severus could handle it himself, using a pair of dragon hide gloves Albus had given him after completing his potions Mastery. If he couldn't deal with it on his own, Severus got Albus to help.

However, the burn on his hand was not what was distracting him. Once the box was open, Severus saw the image of his mother hanging herself, floating above Albus.

Everyone had stopped, and was staring as well. Molly shrieked, and flung herself away. The Weasley's ran to her, and Arthur stood in front of his family, wand drawn and outstretched. Albus was on his feet in moments, ushering the rest of the teens away.

The rest of the Aurors were standing away from the rest of the group, wondering what had just happened. Eileen Prince's corpse moved, and stopped, it's dead eyes resting on Potter. Severus was on his feet before he could blink.

Severus flung his arms out, making himself the biggest target, and blocking Potter from the boggart. The boggart smiled, then changed. First to a werewolf, then to Severus himself.

Severus was staring at an exact image of himself. However, this version of himself was not protected by illusions. This Severus was also only wearing a pair of muggle pants. The boggart's body was covered in scars. They wound up his arms, across his torso, and were even visible on his feet and ankles. Several of his prominent ribs stuck out at odd angles, and several of his fingers were slightly crooked.

The boggart Severus smiled, an evil smile. Severus drew his wand, _something funny... _He briefly thought of himself clothed in Neville Longbottom's grandmother's clothing, but found it hurt more then it was funny.

"Floundering again? You worthless idiot! Father and Grandfather were right! You aren't even a half-blood, you filthy-" Severus raised his new wand, feeling the weight settle in his fingers. The twisted version of him laughed, "What do you think you're going to do? You have never been able to face down a boggart, so I don't know why you keep trying. They're your weakness, at least other then yourself."

Severus felt his fury explode. Every lightbulb in the room shattered. More people shrieked, and Severus clamped down on his magic, despite the raging emotions in him. The boggart laughed cruelly, "See? You can't even keep a hold of yourself without your occlumency, without your shields and position within the Death Eaters, what good are you?"

Severus felt nausea rise in his throat, and swallowed it down. He would find a way...

"Good luck, the only other way is to-"

"_Avada kedavra!_" The curse was whispered, only audible to Severus. He funnelled his hate and anger into the spell.

The spectacular flash of green that erupted from his wand blinded everyone. When they finally got their vision back, Severus and his present were already gone.

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Severus leaned against the door to his room, holding the box made of silver in his bare hands. He knew his hands were burning, being eaten away by the metal. Severus didn't care, couldn't care. He set the box down, and looked through it's contents.

There was a small vial of liquid silver. Severus held it in his hand, and dropped the illusion he held over himself. He set the vial down on his dresser, and flung his clothing into the corner. He stared into the mirror, hating every single thing he saw reflected in it.

The scarred image the boggart had shown had not been a lie. The illusion he wore only covered so much of his heavily scarred body, leaving only some of the scars on his back and torso visible to others. What no one saw were the burns, and the runes carved into his flesh. They couldn't see the whip lashes on his back, or thick scar on his neck.

They also couldn't see the innumerable number of self inflicted scars that marred his arms and legs, couldn't see where his father had thrown a beer bottle at his feet. They also couldn't see the insults that were carved into every available part of his arms, or his legs. Even the boggart hadn't known about those.

_Freak, Useless, Mudblood, _and so many more stood out against his pale skin. Severus felt his self hatred for himself rise to new heights. He stared at the vial of silver, and wondered. _Albus would be heartbroken..._ Anger suddenly flashed out, and Severus lashed out at the mirror with magic. The mirror cracked, and broke. Glass shattered, and spilled over the floor and dresser.

Severus caught sight of his burnt, blistered palms, and wondered what it would be like to feel with them again. On the tops of his hands, huge burn marks covered the surface, as well as several cut marks from where his hands had slipped.

_I'm a coward... I can't even die properly. _Severus felt a lump in his throat, and felt tears welling in his eyes, "Fawkes," he rasped. The phoenix appeared in a flash of fire. Fawkes flapped over, and Severus held out his hands, "Please."

Fawkes leaned his head over Severus' hands, and began to cry. Tears fell onto the burnt flesh, and Severus sighed, and flexed them in relief. Fawkes nudged Severus' hand, and Severus slumped to the ground, "What am I going to do?"

Fawkes hopped into his lap, and rubbed his feathered head along Severus' stomach. Severus choked back a teary laugh, and wondered what was wrong with him. He stared once more at the silver vial, and sighed. _Can't.. I can't..._ Fawkes trilled, and began to hum quietly.

Severus ran his fingers over the feathers of the phoenix, bathing in the warmth that Fawkes seemed to bring with him everywhere. Severus shivered, and suddenly realized how _cold_ he felt. Fawkes hopped off his lap, and flew onto the bed. He trilled at Severus again.

Severus felt so many emotions. All of his horrible memories were floating around, getting mixed with all the good ones. Severus collapsed onto the bed, pulling the blankets up to cover his thin frame, "What's wrong with me?"

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Everyone stared in shock where Severus had been a moment earlier. The silence stretched on for several minutes.

"Wow. That's not what I expected," Sirius said softly.

"Expected?" Remus demanded, "What do you mean? No one was expecting any of that!"

Sirius didn't say anything for a moment. Molly stepped away from her family, "I-I made sure that there was nothing in there... I wanted to thank him.."

"Sirius, don't tell me it was you who did that!" Remus demanded, eyes ablaze with anger.

"And what if it was?" Sirius growled, "What are you going to do? He would do the same for me!"

"No," Albus interrupted, blue eyes blazing in anger, "Severus would never make someone confront their worst fears."

Sirius deflated a little, "That wasn't all that scary. It made no sense. What is he afraid of?"

"I thought it would be obvious," Albus intoned quietly, "He is terrified of himself."

"Why?" Sirius demanded, "All he needs to be terrified of is his greasy hair smothering him at-"

"Sirius, that is enough!" Remus growled. He stormed over to his friend, "It is Christmas day. Severus has done nothing at all during this holiday to any of us. The only things he has done is help us. He saved Arthur, and made breakfast for all of us this morning."

Sirius deflated even more, "But-"

"No buts. When he gets out of his room, you are going to apologize."

"What are you? My mother?"

"No, I'm not. Yours never cared enough to teach you manners, so I will. Got it? I am sick of you picking fights with him."

"It's not just me-"

"I'm not blind, he gives as good as he gets, but the both of you realize you are adults who are fighting on the same side!" Remus exclaimed angrily, "As soon as he gets out, I want you to apologize for everything."

"He won't listen, he never does!"

"ENOUGH," Albus shouted above the noise.

Remus and Sirius froze in place, and stared at Albus. His blue eyes were alight with fury, "Sirius, I will talk to you downstairs. Remus, you and Sirius can talk this out later. This is Christmas day, and we have already had enough drama."

Remus nodded, and backed down. Albus waited for Sirius to go down the stairs before following.

Molly swallowed, "I'm going to go check on Severus."

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Author's Note: Let me know what you guys think. You can message me or leave me a review. Don't be shy, people. I love suggestions and feedback.

I still don't own Harry Potter.


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